Episode Notes:

In this very first episode of Unpretentious Eats, I’m diving into my personal journey—sharing the highs, lows, and all the twists and turns that led me to create this podcast. From being the awkward, creative kid who loved cooking to surviving a near-death experience, traveling solo through Europe, and finally finding my place in the world of food and drink, I’m giving you a behind-the-scenes look at what’s shaped my passion for hospitality.

This podcast is all about breaking down the barriers around food, wine, and hospitality, discussing the history and even politics of food, and making it all feel accessible and fun, no matter who you are. 

Cheers!

Wine: Carboniste- Sea Urchin (https://carboniste.com/wines)

Transcript

Welcome to Unpretentious Eats, the place for tasting life through food, wine, and spirits, where you’ll be joining me, your host, Alyssa van Oostel, as we explore the many ways that food and drink connect us and affect our lives. Hello, everyone. Hello, hello, hello.

Thank you for joining me for the first episode of Unpretentious Eats. Like those of you listening, my absolute love for gathering around food and drink has been a constant in my crazy and ever-so-changing life. I thought I would start the series with introducing myself and why I started this podcast to begin with.

So grab a glass of wine or honestly, whatever’s in your fridge. I’m enjoying a little sparkling rosé of Pinot Noir from Carbonista myself, and let’s dive in. Man, that’s delicious.

Okay, where to start? Well, I’m 32 now, but sometimes I feel like I’m 62 with how many times I’ve reinvented myself and honestly with how much my back hurts. It’s been a crazy ride though, you name it.

Lows, highs, failures, success, almost dying a couple of times. That’s been pretty interesting. And so many moments of self-discovery.

But through all of it, there’s one thing that stayed the same. My obsession with food and drink. Honestly, if there’s anything in my life that keeps me going, it’s that love.

Sorry to my loving fiancee and family and friends for hearing that. It’s okay, though. They know it’s true and I love them.

Growing up, I was that creative, awkward, overweight kid. Story of my life to this day. You know the type.

Always by themselves, enjoying their own world, and not so much the company of other people. I wasn’t popular by any means, and if I wasn’t good at sports and activities most girls would shy away from, I probably would have never talked to anyone. And it wasn’t just other kids I had trouble relating to either.

I was always awkward with my teachers too. I can’t count the amount of times that my poor mother had to come into a parent-teacher conference and be told, Ms. Van Osdahl, if your daughter doesn’t learn to be more outgoing, she’s going to struggle later in life. Let’s be clear about something.

I’m plenty outgoing. You can ask anyone who truly knows me. I don’t shut up when talking to someone or about something I really like.

The problem wasn’t that I was shy. The problem was I had no interest in talking to my peers at the time. I mean, I won the science fair a few times.

My parents put me in sports. I took a lot of art lessons. But still, my idea of a good time was reading a cookbook or baking something amazing with my mother.

Socializing? Meh, not my strong suit. But then, as if I wasn’t already an outcast, there was the accident.

The pool accident, I should say. This near-death experience would leave my parents for years, claiming I was meant for something special because it was a miracle I survived. I’ll admit it.

I managed to steal the spotlight at my brother’s high school girlfriend’s graduation party when he had to jump in and save me. I had drowned after hitting my head and ended up in the hospital for a week. But hey, I survived.

Miracle, right? But enough of that. Let’s skip ahead a bit.

I definitely survived that little episode and ended up playing water polo to cope with all the heavy existential thoughts that were going through my poor teenage brain. Why am I here? Why did I survive this?

It was a bit of a journey to say the least, but it definitely helped me work through those teen years of questioning everything, especially myself. When high school graduation was around the corner and all of my peers were talking about what Ivy League or UC they were going to, I told my parents I was thinking about going to culinary school because even to this day, I made friends by feeding people, not by talking to them. But my parents were a little more practical.

They sat me down and said, we love you, honey, but have you thought about getting a degree first? Maybe something that’s a bit more stable? I mean, they weren’t wrong.

I was living in Silicon Valley where if you weren’t headed for tech, law, or medicine, it was like, what are you even doing with your life? The pressure to follow the right path was very real. So I did what any good daughter would do.

I pulled myself together and set out to figure out what I should do with my life. And you know what that even meant. After years of changing my major over and over again, failing several classes because I was extremely depressed, and changing over and over and over again for other people, I finally landed on business because, well, it seemed the most practical thing I could do.

That wasn’t tech or medicine. And it took me a little while, but I finally graduated from San Jose State. After all of that, the moment finally came.

At 26, I had graduated, I was working at a small law office, and I told my boss I needed the entire month off. I had a plan to finally go to Europe, alone, and live my dream of experiencing the food, culture, and history. Honestly, I almost didn’t go because, well, I was single, but then I remembered I do everything alone anyway, and I actually kind of like it.

Plus, if I had gone with my then ex-boyfriend, the whole trip would have been ruined by his extremely boring taste buds and lack of curiosity. So there I was, traveling through Europe solo. And let me tell you, it was a game changer.

I learned a lot about myself and of course about food. But of all the lessons, these were the top things I learned. One was that Europeans really appreciate hospitality.

It’s not just a job for them. It’s a very respectable career, and they love it. The second, the simplest food and drink tastes a thousand times better when it’s fresh and local.

Seriously, there’s something very magical about it. Every time I asked why something was so good, they said, well, it’s local. Three, people think you’re very brave when you’re a woman traveling alone.

I wasn’t sure if I would have called myself brave, but I loved the compliments. Four, my introverted self. Yeah, it really did inhibit my connections with people.

I had a particularly awkward moment staying in a hostel in London with a bunch of 18 to 23 year old dudes. One of them brought a girl back to the room while I was sleeping, and the night turned into a real awkward scene when he left the room without her, after what sounded like a pretty disappointing encounter for her. And she realized I wasn’t sleeping when I had to wake up and take a phone call.

We made eye contact after which all I could manage to do with myself was smile at her and give her a thumbs up. Yeah, long story short, she left in quite a hurry without her shoes or pants on. And five, once I stopped trying to force connections and just focus on sharing my love of food and drink with locals when it was appropriate, it wasn’t hard to talk to people.

Food is universal and it really does connect us in many ways, more than we think. By the end of my month in Europe, I went from traveling alone to having locals and fellow travelers invite me into their worlds. I made a real connection with a family in Budapest who invited me to go wine tasting with them in Edgar and Tokai.

A couple in Paris invited me to go to dinner with them at a restaurant I could not get reservations at after we were seated next to each other at the Moulin Rouge, and I could not stop talking about how lucky they were and how jealous I was. And I will never forget sharing a table at a coffee shop with this very grumpy old French man who ended up having a lovely conversation with me about the art of dining and how more Americans should learn to dine alone because that is when you truly, truly understand and appreciate your dining experience. Before leaving, he told me, You know, you’re not as obnoxious as most Americans.

Maybe you should move here. Sounds mean. And I butchered that accent because I’m terrible at French.

But trust me, he meant it as a very sincere compliment. So after all of that, I came back home convinced that I was meant to do something in the hospitality sector, whether it was in restaurants or the wine and spirits industry. But spoiler alert, that did not stop me from doing the practical thing and taking a job at a much larger law office, with an attorney that was so awful.

She was pretentious about everything. You should have heard her talk about her own children, but especially food. I thought I’d be able to connect to my other peers, but nope.

Turns out the only thing people at this office cared about was bragging how much money they spent on Michelin-starred meals. Now, this podcast isn’t supposed to be about hating on things like the Michelin Star Guide. If you have the means and ability to go to one of those restaurants, you should absolutely do so.

They are extremely, overwhelmingly amazing. But only if you actually appreciate it for what it is, which is not only artistry and food, but the art of service. And I can’t stand when the only thing somebody who has experienced one of those restaurants has to brag about is how much money it cost.

It just shows that that person did not truly appreciate all the artistry and hard work that the chef, kitchen staff, and serving staff go through in order to put on that kind of experience. It’s not meant to exclude you because you don’t have money. It is meant to really shine a light on everything that food and service can be.

Sure enough, after only a month there, I was fired. And I’m not gonna lie, at first, I was devastated at being fired for the very first time in my life. But the more I thought about it, the more I realized this was my freedom.

I didn’t fit in. And I didn’t want to fit in with that kind of crowd anyway. That was the moment I finally had the guts to tell my parents that I wanted to not do the practical thing.

I wanted to pursue a career in hospitality, wine, spirits, and the whole shebang. And that’s how I ended up in Napa and Sonoma. Those years living in Sonoma and working in Napa were some of my favorite of all my life.

I wasn’t making lots of money, definitely not as much as I was in the legal service. But I was making enough to afford a very small studio, just five minutes walk from the Sonoma Square. And most importantly, I still had enough money to travel and experience new things in new places.

When I turned 30, life threw me another curveball, this time a good one. I met my now fiance in Sonoma. Let me tell you, everything felt perfect.

I was in a beautiful place doing work that made me feel connected to food and drink, and finally I thought, this is it. This is where my story finally starts to feel like it’s coming together. But then, as life tends to do, it presented me with another tough decision.

My fiance’s job was relocating him to San Diego, and he asked if I’d move with him. Now, if you know anything about me, you would know that I’m not one to make big decisions lightly, and I really don’t like change. I had to really think about it.

But sunny San Diego? Yeah, that sounded pretty nice. And it’s kind of hard to say no to.

To make things a little bit easier, I had landed a job down there at a luxury wine broker just before moving. So life looked pretty good. After moving into our new apartment and starting my new position, I found myself in yet another situation where I could not relate to my boss or my colleagues.

It was like deja vu all over again, except this time, the feeling was way, way worse than at the law office. You see, I’ve always believed that everyone should be able to enjoy good food, wine, and spirits. And yes, it is true that most people cannot afford that Michelin restaurant or a $500 bottle of wine every day.

But when people do indulge in those moments, they should not only savor them, they should be very appreciative and thankful. But in this new job, I was surrounded by people who had the money to treat vintage first-growth portos, like what you should be drinking every day. And like anyone who wasn’t doing the same was to be laughed at.

Oh, the poor people. They don’t know anything good in life because they’re poor. And I would just sit there and think, is this really the world that I want to be in?

I mean, this attitude from a few very loud people is why so many people will not go into that nice restaurant, will not try that nice bottle of wine, won’t go into that artisanal cocktail bar, because these few loud people have made them feel excluded, made them feel that the only purpose of these things is to show off that you have money, not the hard work and artistry that goes into them. And definitely not that the purpose of these things is community, to build community and bring people together. And then, wouldn’t you know, it happened again.

After about a month, I was let go for not fitting in. And this time, it hit much harder, much harder. It felt like the very thing I loved that I was so passionate about, food, wine, and hospitality, was rejecting me.

And I found myself in that dark place again, questioning everything. What was I even doing here? What was my purpose?

After that moment, I had spent many months questioning myself. And it wasn’t until my fiance, being the kind and supportive person he is, sat me down and said something that really changed everything. He told me he couldn’t bear to see me this way.

He said, I fell in love with you because of your passion. Whatever you need to do to find a way to share that passion again, I’m here for you. And that was a wake up call for me.

I realized the thing I loved most about hospitality, what I loved most about food and drink, was the connection I could make with people. It wasn’t about the exclusivity or the high society vibe. It was about relating to others through my passion.

Because being who I am, that was the main way I did connect with people. And that’s when it hit me. When I was in Napa, I felt this sense of belonging at every table I hosted, at every conversation I had.

Whether it was talking about wine, food, or the history behind it all, I felt like I belonged. Because the people I was talking to also wanted to belong to that world. And I missed that.

I missed sharing that passion with others. I missed the camaraderie, the community, and the excitement that comes with talking about something you love so much. And there you go.

That’s how this podcast came to be. An extension of my website Unpretentious Eats, which has always been about sharing recipes, making great food and drinks accessible to everyone. This podcast is about creating a space to discuss everything happening in the world of food, wine, spirits, and hospitality without all the pretension.

It’s for the people who love food and drink. For the folks in the hospitality industry who just want to feel heard and appreciated. And for all of us who sometimes feel like the finer things in life aren’t meant for us because we’re not in the high rollers club.

So join me every week for new stories, discoveries, and of course, celebrating food, drink, and the art of hospitality in a way that feels real, accessible, and fun. Whether you’re a food nerd, a wine lover, an at-home mixologist, or someone just looking to get more connected with the world of hospitality, this podcast is for you. Thanks for tuning in.

I can’t wait to have you back for next week’s episode of Unpretentious Eats. And because I promised to share things I love on this podcast, if you are interested in trying the wine that I was drinking today, it’s called Sea Urchin by Carbonese Day. You can find them at Most Total Wines, and if you are unable to locate it there, you should definitely check out their wine club on their website.

You will not regret it. I love that all of Carbonese Day’s wines are not trying to mimic champagne. They are trying to express California in sparkling wine.

This is not a paid ad. I just really wanted to share my love of bubbles with you. Cheers, everyone!

This first episode of Unpretentious Eats is dedicated to my wonderful friend, Rina Lastimosa, who has just lost her beloved puppy, Kaikani. He was seven years old, and he was full of life, and he left too soon. I hope everyone listening can send love her way.

Thank you.